Friday, November 19, 2004

why are break-ups painful?

have you ever thought about it?

a break up brings an end to a relationship, be it a fledgling romance, or a painstakingly moulded amour. it is akin to, let's say, an oscillating system that is critically damped. it nips the problem(s) in the bud, right there and then. no more unhappiness, no more bickering. effective? perhaps. what matters, at least, is that the two parties just cease the intra-conflict, and are able to start afresh instead of settling for a lifetime of unhappiness, or rather, attempted happiness.

the immediate loss of a loved one from a breakup is nonetheless, excruciating. the age-old cliches 'my world has crumbled', 'its the end'... i need not elaborate. there could exist a thought of suicide, and surely, there is no yardstick for the depth of this melancholy. then again, relationships, to all extents, require investments to keep it going. the intangible things like time and effort seem to have gone down the drain. even more so, how about the love that has been devoted? in my opinion, there is no amicable break up. if people say they parted amicably, either they haven't truly cherished the relationship, or they haven't treated it seriously enough. on a more practical note, i guess people feel sad because of the lightness with which the relationship has been taken. after all, a relationship requires mutual trust and understanding. i believe, in all honesty, that this promise is made with the intention to carry on the relationship to eternity, or at least as much of it as can be had in a lifetime, and to breakup would be analogous to conceding that we were liars to begin with and should never had made that promise. so are we liars?

are relationships merely expandable friendships?

Perhaps, breakups are perceived as nothing more than a convenience in the eyes to many...

3 Comments:

Blogger shooting star said...

hmms... wad a thought provoking entry...

not all breakups nip the problem(s) in the bud... sometimes i feel it's a runaway solution by both parties.. but hey~ i dun have the experience... so can't really comment on this~ hehez~

on the other hand, it's not true that when pple broke up amicably, they din cherish or treat the relationship seriously enuff... for some, it might be sort of a mutual understanding between the two parties that there's no point in going on due to the pain and suffering inflicted on both parties... and sometimes it's better to let go... when both parties reached this mutual consensus, it's possible to break up amicably... and how do u know whether they are suffering deep down when they "broke up amicably"? they might act as though nothing has happened, but deep down they're not okies...

hehez~ aniwae.. y this sudden comment on breakups? *ponders*

9:32 AM  
Blogger zhanz said...

有聚必有散,这是不可磨灭的真理,天下没有不散之筵席,没有什么东西是永恒的。人家说记忆能陪伴我们到永远,可是谁又能真的记东西记得那么久,一个不小心得了老年痴呆症什么都忘了哈哈。言归正传,爱情也是一样,爱一个人也是有期限的。每个人的爱的期限都不一,有的可能是几天,有的可能是他们的一生,也就是大家所谓的永远。而当你的爱情期限到了,有的选择拖泥带水,纠缠不清结果搞得双方都很累。过期的饭菜你还会想吃吗?这种情况下分手时最好不过的解脱。合不来就散,大家都不再对彼此长生感情了,勉强下去也只是让对方更痛苦。更何况,这都已经是21世纪,这种分分离离都应该看得很开了。
这里我并不是鼓励人们分手,分手当然是在不得已的情况下提出的,而不是给那些滥情的作为工具。总而言之,分手固然是痛苦的,但想想分手后是更多的选择,更精彩的人生,何乐而不为呢?

12:22 AM  
Blogger fionash said...

main thing abt this is y is breakup painful.. main reason.. it's just like y is e sky blue.. y is e sea green.. it's just a natural process.. no need 2 find a reason.. when everything is over u'll realise it's actually nothing.. hahaha~ (",)

12:36 AM  

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